Entry 10: On the bright side.

These guys are pretty phenomenal. This video is definitely more opinion than anything, but most of the time they are ridiculously informative.
They had a series of videos on being open minded, and I definitely recommend you check it out.

Yeah.

Things are going good right now. Work was stressful for a bit there, but I'm officially off closing shifts, so that feels really good. I'm also trying to hang out with more of my friends, since it's come to my attention that I haven't seen some of them in like, a month with no good reason.
I guess I have a bit of a cycle... I'll be all for socializing one week, and want nothing more than to hole up in my room doing nerdy things the next. Eh, that's just me, I guess. Everybody wants to be alone sometimes.

In the last couple of posts I got into some pretty personal things, and while I don't mind sharing anything about myself, I really don't want for this blog to turn into Danny's Therapy Corner. I guess I set out with the goal of relating my perspective as an introverted social retard, but I also wanted to keep it entertaining and share stupid links... I've definitely fallen behind on the stupid links.
Next time...

Entry 9: Falling into place.

Turn up the bass, put on some headphones, and listen to this:



Hail to the Thief came after Amnesiac, so it's possible that the matching chord progressions in these two very different songs was a bit of an easter egg... I don't know for sure, but I think it's pretty goddamn cool.

I've been thinking a lot lately, and didn't really want to get into it until I'd come to some conclusions. To be perfectly honest, I was considering moving to Vancouver for a while, but I've decided against it. I guess I realized that I was unhappy with my life, and was desperately looking for ways to shake shit up. Turns out I don't really need to.
A few weeks ago I was hanging out with some friends and just having a blast, and I came to the realization that I can be happy even if I am single. It's just always such a struggle for me... I've gone through a pretty long streak of being sad and alone, punctuated by relationships that ended just as they began-- and usually ended with the sentiment "I thought I really liked you, but now that I've gotten to know you, it's just... not the same."
Fucking pitiful.
Anyways, that's why I pressure myself, and that's why it never works out, and that's why I obsess over it to the point where my happy/sad switch has been contingent upon my relationship/alone switch.
Of course, now I realize that I could've been happy the whole time, and that I've been taking a lot of really great friendships for granted by just choosing to be miserable instead of appreciating all that I have.
All I can say now is that I apologize for being so self involved that I've somehow become absent from my own life.
Ah well, the main thing is, I'm optimistic now.

Water over the bridge.

Every year.
Every year I think about it... I try to ignore it, but I still end up giving it some serious consideration. Should I send her a message?
Happy Birthday.
Just two words.
It doesn't have to be anything more than that... but I know that's not true.
If I say anything, I risk rebuilding this bridge. As much as I want to... I know that some things are better off broken. I know if I start, I won't stop. I'll gravitate back into her life.
I'll hate it.
And she'll hate it.
After all these years, I'm still in love with her.
As long as that's the case, I cannot be her friend.
So every year, I think about saying it...
and every year, I don't.