Entry 9: Falling into place.

Turn up the bass, put on some headphones, and listen to this:



Hail to the Thief came after Amnesiac, so it's possible that the matching chord progressions in these two very different songs was a bit of an easter egg... I don't know for sure, but I think it's pretty goddamn cool.

I've been thinking a lot lately, and didn't really want to get into it until I'd come to some conclusions. To be perfectly honest, I was considering moving to Vancouver for a while, but I've decided against it. I guess I realized that I was unhappy with my life, and was desperately looking for ways to shake shit up. Turns out I don't really need to.
A few weeks ago I was hanging out with some friends and just having a blast, and I came to the realization that I can be happy even if I am single. It's just always such a struggle for me... I've gone through a pretty long streak of being sad and alone, punctuated by relationships that ended just as they began-- and usually ended with the sentiment "I thought I really liked you, but now that I've gotten to know you, it's just... not the same."
Fucking pitiful.
Anyways, that's why I pressure myself, and that's why it never works out, and that's why I obsess over it to the point where my happy/sad switch has been contingent upon my relationship/alone switch.
Of course, now I realize that I could've been happy the whole time, and that I've been taking a lot of really great friendships for granted by just choosing to be miserable instead of appreciating all that I have.
All I can say now is that I apologize for being so self involved that I've somehow become absent from my own life.
Ah well, the main thing is, I'm optimistic now.